The Lesson Was Mine First - By Ashleigh Stewart

For a long time, I neglected writing, I mean years, even though it is probably the most natural thing for me to do.

Writing was, and has always been, like a flowing river. Something that effortlessly poured out of me, as if it was me.

I stopped writing things for other people to read because all the things that came through naturally—spirituality, personal growth, metaphysics, yoga—felt disconnected from the reality of my own life.

I felt like a fraud.

My life felt like a mess. It got to the point that I wasn't embodying any of it. Yet writing about it, preaching it, teaching it—I couldn't do it.

Something else felt off too.

I was constantly focused on my life being about teaching spirituality to others.

But what about me?

I did live and strive for a life of spirituality and awareness, yet I wasn't truly living, embodying, and believing what I was teaching.

Looking back, it feels like most of what I was teaching was actually a lesson meant for me first.

The truth is, I just can't do it halfway.

My purpose now is not performance.

Not doing it for them.

Doing it for me.

I choose, for now, nothing else but to write.

No business.

No hustle.

No striving.

Just writing.

At least for now.

Ashleigh ♡